One & Only FARHANA.

IT KILLS.

2011-02-05T23:21:00.002+08:00

Yes, this is what i've been feeling.
I hate it when it happens especially when i just woke up from sleep.
It spoils my day and mood.

A YEAR OLDER.

2011-02-03T13:38:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY to my dear sister, Zaidah!
Akhirnya, tua jugak kau.
Hahaha!
May you be blessed always.
Stay cheerful always yea.
Insyallah, i'll drop by at your place for the birthday party.
See ya soon! (:

Best Wishes,

Hana

FORGET IT.

2011-02-01T12:25:00.002+08:00

I wanna go somewhere and forget all my problems.
Can i?
I wanna go to beach and feel the breeze.
I'm living with fear each and every day.
I need a break.
Period.

2011-01-29T12:47:00.002+08:00

I've never felt being so important like now.
Boyfriend's being so good to me.
Thank you so much for the never ending care, concern, encouragement, love and attention Naz. (:

CAN'T WAIT!

2011-01-27T10:38:00.003+08:00

I so can't wait for the trip to Batam with Pasir Ris staffs on the 10th Feb!
Luckily my parents gave the green light coz mum knows one of the staff already.
Phew!
And it's my first time going on a trip with them!
Thanks a lot Pasir Ris staffs.
You guys made me feel important although i'm just a part-timer.
I'm gonna let this trip be a memorable one for sure.
Go-kart, makan, shopping.
Wooohoo!
Let's camwhore a lot okayy!
Counting the days till the 10th!
(:

I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU.

2011-01-25T13:04:00.003+08:00

Friends and boyfriend, i'm always here for you whenever you need me.
(:

ANOTHER MIDNIGHT OWL.

2011-01-25T01:34:00.002+08:00

Time checked: 1.34am

I have a company tonight.
Thanks Zai Rockerz for accompanying me by chatting with me.
My eyes can't seem to shut!
Boyfriend's off to lala land since he's super duper tired.
Had a great shopping with him yesterday. :D

Hai Zai..
Kat station nampak muka kau sampai 2 kali.
Tapi takpe, nasib baik kau online in Facebook.
You can be my midnight owl partner.
Hehe! (:

OFFICIALLY.

2011-01-23T22:49:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY to my Maroon 5 clique, Siti Hidayu.
Finally, 21 yea.
Haha!
Wish you all the best for your future endeavours babe.
See ya again soon. (:

THAT'S THE QUESTION.

2011-01-18T11:41:00.002+08:00

The question is, can i be happy?

FACT.

2011-01-15T12:09:00.004+08:00

NOTHING LAST FOREVER.

2011-01-04T11:07:00.003+08:00

It saddens me when i see these two.
My favourites. :(

May Allah bless their soul.
Amin.

RELIEVED.

2011-01-02T18:10:00.003+08:00

After talking and sharing everything what i've been feelings nowadays, i feel a bit relieved.
Believe it or not, we spent 4 hours talking on the phone yesterday.
And i've only got 3 hours of sleep.
But, whatever it is,
thanks for the listening ear, boyfriend.

2 more days to our 3rd month.
Break record. (:

MISSES.

2010-12-31T12:22:00.000+08:00

Dearest sisters,
Hadah, Idah & Nana, i dedicate this song to you girls.
When i hear this song, i remember how we spent our time together and how we shared our laughter and grief.

I'm sure you sisters will understand this, "Tu hai to i'll be alright."
(:

SLEEPLESS NIGHT.

2010-12-30T02:49:00.002+08:00

Okayy, the time now is 2.50am, and i'm still not asleep yet.
Insomia.
A lot of things are running through my mind since just now.
I cried, and cried, and cried.
But luckily, some people keep me accompanied.

Boyfriend fell asleep while were texting each other just now.
Nevermind, he's tired.
There goes my company for the night.
Herman bestie called just now, and i smiled when his name popped up in my mobile.
And reading those T.Os comments in facebook made me laugh.
Guys, i wonder how my life's gonna be without seeing you all again.
Kaicik T.O prompt me in facebook, asking me to sleep.
But my eyes simply wouldn't shut.
This small cutie T.O makes me smile whenever i see him.
He's exactly like a kid.
With all his funny gestures and the way he talks.
He was upset that someone "decorated" his bike with leaves.
Haha!
I'm glad to know some of the T.Os.
Some of them are super friendly i tell you.
One of them is my best buddy now in SMRT.
May this friendship last forever. (:

AAAACCHHHHOOOOO! AAAACCHHHOOO!

2010-12-28T12:56:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Time checked: 12.57PM
It's already Tuesday today.
Few more days to the brand new year.
So, spend your last few days in year 2010 wisely people. (:

Woke up at 9, and it's a very cold morning.
I like!
But suddenly, aaaccchhhhooo! aacchhhooo!
FLU!
I'm allergic to cold, although i love it. -,-
No one's at home, dad and bro were off to work and mum went for her religious class.
I did the housework, and logged into my facebook.
Shahmir T.O prompt me, and as usual, he never fails to make me smile and laugh.
A simple good morning and jokes from him is enough to make my morning a good one. (:

Boyfriend's on a split shift for this whole week.
I won't get to see him at my station. :(
Next week, maybe?

Dearest Herman buddy, please work afternoon shift soon can?
It's been long time since i saw you too.
And i miss those late night phone calls from you okayy.

I'm excited to meet Khairul, Azmi and Yatie this Saturday.
The last time we had and outing together was in August.
Long time, isn't it?
Cycling with them at East Coast Park with hem is surely gonna be fun.
I'm really looking forward to that. (:
But first, i need to plan what to wear on that day.
I swear i need to upgrade my wardrobe.
I'm sick and tired of wearing the same thing over and over again.

Okayy readers.
My eyes are really heavy right now.
I wanna catch some sleep before going to work.
Good day everyone. (:

PICTURES UPDATED!

2010-12-25T13:12:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Hadah's 20th birthday celebration was successful.
All pictures are updated in my facebook. (:

IT'S SATURDAY BEBEH.

2010-12-18T12:18:00.002+08:00

Hey Earthlings.

I'm back yea. Nothing to do, so i thought of updating this platform of mine.
Aniway, I failed my TP again for the 2nd time.
Nevermind, it doesn't pull me down so much.
Thanks so much fo the advise Naz, Herman buddy and Zai Rockerz.
But at least i did better this time.
I accumulated 30 points, far better than the previous one which i got 92 points.
Big difference huh?
I've booked the next TP, which is on 28 January 2011, at 1.55pm.
Hopefully, i'll make it through this time round.
Insyallah.

I would like to wish congratulations to my colleague, Hairilah and his future wife.
It's his wedding today, but i couldn't attend.
A big apology, Hairilah.
But i'll pray for the success of your solemnisation and wedding. (:

One more, congratulations Farahleez for passing your N Levels.
Choose your course wisely okayy? (:

The time now is 12.51pm.
I'm off now.
Gonna take my lunch.
Good day earthlings.

WHY?

2010-12-03T14:21:00.002+08:00

Kenapa tuhan tak kurniakan seorang abang untuk aku?
Kalau aku ada abang, mesti mak bapak aku takda apa-apa beban lagi.
Tak payah fikir pasal rumah.
Kalau aku ada abang, mungkin abang boleh tolong dalam hal rumah ni.
Bapak aku pun tak payah nak kerja sampai malam lagi.
Mungkin aku pun tak akan terima layanan macam sekarang.

Seeing Herman exchanging comments with his sister in his facebook made me tear.
My tears dropped seeing those comments.
How loving they are as siblings.
Sometimes when i hear Herman's conversation with his siter on the phone, i feel sad.
My sibling isn't like that.
And, i've got so much commitments.
Till my best sisters thought that i've forgotten them.
Nah, i've never forgotten you sisters.
It's just that i'm busy with work and some commitments.
I even remember Hadah's birthday, and how we always gonna plan some surprises.
I even text you girls, to plan something.

Dear Idah, it hurts me when i read your facebook status.
I swear, i never forgot you girls.
You girls were one of the best gifts that god sent to me.
Never even once, i'd think that you girls will be away from me.
Our friendship has been strong since secondary school days.
But why this problem keeps us away?
I just need you girls to understand that i'm not living a life like other girls.
I've got curfews, i work both in the morning and afternoon shift sometimes.
Even i've to work on weekends sometimes.
I've got a big problem now, i need to drag myself to work.
I'm really trying my best to sort my time to meet you girls.
Even i don't meet Naz often.
You girls can ask him.
He's been very very patient.
I can only see him during work, that is also if he comes to my station.
Even if i see him at my station, we only have a conversation for less than 3 minutes.
I think other boys would run away if they have someone like me.
Sisters, it's not easy for me to sort my time.
I really hope you girls understand me.
You sisters have been so nice to me all these while.
The bottom line is, i've never forgotten you girls and will never.

DECEMBER BABY.

2010-12-02T09:41:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY BOTAK!
Hahaha.
Dearest best buddy Herman,
May Allah bless you always with lots of love, happiness and health.
Kau la sahabat paling rapat dengan aku in SMRT.
I'm really glad to know you as a friend.
And please, have a safe road trip to Genting okayy.
Farhana will miss you, best buddy.
Cepat balik eh!

IT'S LOVELY..

2010-11-23T12:54:00.000+08:00

I found this song in Youtube.
It's simply nice..

REAL SOON.

2010-11-22T12:23:00.003+08:00

Their birthday is coming!

SHE'S BACK!

2010-11-22T11:56:00.003+08:00

TADAAAAAA!

I'm back people.
I've been neglecting my blog.
Been busy. Sorry readers.
But hey, i'm back yawww.

Let's get started with life.
It's been a roller coaster ride for me all these while.
The main problem is, financial.
As always.
I'm trying my very best to help out, especially in bills.
Ya Allah, murahkanlah rezeki untuk keluargaku.

Now, work.
Work has been super exciting.
I swear i like it when it it's time to go to work.
Moreover, i've made more new friends.
And oh, my contract's been extended to 6 months.
Now, there's some benefits.
Alhamdulillah. (:
I've applied for train officer position.
Hopefully i'll get it, insyallah.

Next, attached life.
I'm really grateful to have Naz.
He's been a good boyfriend.
He's been there when i'm down, he's been there to give me strength.
I love you.

Now, friends.
My dearest sisters, Hadah, Idah, Nana & Farah!
I really miss you girls so much!
Outing soon please!
Let's have a photoshoot.
It's been a long time since we did that.
I'm really looking forward to meet you girls. (:

THANK YOU, NAZ.

2010-10-18T00:06:00.003+08:00

I'm really touched with what Nazirul has done for me.
He knows that i'm having difficulties in finding another job.
He's helped me to find some jobs throught the Net.
I've never had someone who's willing to help me this sincerely.
He knows that i'm interested in childcare, and he found some job vacancies in that line.
He's the one that never fails to encourage me, telling me not to give up.
I'm still standing, thanks to his moral support.
I don't even think that my family are that supportive.
I really need this job.
Hopefully, i'll get it. Insyallah.
I don't even mind travelling.
I'm used to it.
If i have no problem working at the most furthest place, which is at Pasir Ris, why should others care?
As long i earn money and my CPF is enough to keep the house going, that's enough.
No more comments.
I don't even care of what people wanna say.
I'm the one who's earning, not them.

Nazirul, i really appreciate of what you've done for me.
I thank you for this.
Dear Allah,at last you've sent someone good in my way.
I really thank you for that, Allah. (:

I was afraid of love. I thought love took time, like a fine wine aging in the cellar. I was wrong. Love is there from the moment you see that person, embrace it and let it grow. Follow your heart, not your mind.

NEXT UP!

2010-10-17T14:56:00.003+08:00

Okayy, now my perfume is going to tamat riwayat soon.
Both Victoria Secret's perfumes aku habiskan.
Ini baru dipanggil "mandi minyak wangi".
Hahahaha.
Next up on my perfume list, Ferre Rose Princesse.
Thanks eh Farahneez for introducing the perfume to me.
Sekarang aku betul2 nak beli perfume tu.
Tapi tunggu laa gaji 2 bulan lagi baru boleh beli agaknya.
Mahal oi!
Sheesh.

Farhana sings: "I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad, buy all of the things i've never had.."
La la la la la la...~

THE LAST SAY.

2010-10-15T12:03:00.003+08:00

I've made up my mind.
I thought about this thoroughly for one whole night, till i can't sleep.
I won't leave SMRT and this CSA job.
Instead, i'll get an office hour job, and then continue with the SMRT one.
Since i need a full-time one badly, i've to sacrifice.
It's not as if i'm not used to work 2 jobs.
I'm used to it already.
Sometimes i don't even know the meaning of tired.

Yes, that's it.
I don't want anyone to interfere about my decision.
I've been heeding to people's say all this while.
Now, it's my turn.
Don't disrupt my plan.
It's good enough i'm adding the income.
Whether i'm sick or tired, i'll take care of myself.
As long as everyone's happy, i'll do it.

Childcare centre is in my mind now.
As long it's 8am-5pm, i'll take it.
But no office job for me.
I'm try to avoid it.
Before i got in SMRT, my choice of job is Early Childhood base.
But parents say don't take it.
For goodness sake, let me do something which i like can?
I'm 20, not a 2 year old kid.
I don't give a damn what my cousins are working as and where.
It's their life and problem, not mine.

Now, the bottom line is, as long the income is going in and the house is still intact, don't say anything.
Coz i don't care about myself anymore.
I'll just go to work.
I'll be more happier.
Don't snatch it away from me.
Enough of problems in my head, which i feel like banging it at the wall everyday.
Let me have a peace of mind.
Period.

DESERVED OR NOT?

2010-10-15T00:33:00.003+08:00

Okayy, i'm not in a good state now.
I'm tired, or should i say sick and tired of everything?
Dad, please. I know we gotta save the house.
But please, stop telling me the same thing everytime.
I'm a normal human being with brains and feelings too.
I'M SERIOUSLY STRESSED UP.
I've to think about the house, job, financial, my driving.
How can i possibly do that all at one time?
You keep pestering me to go for my driving, yes i'm doing that now.
Have you ever thought how stressed i was when i've to juggle between my final year projects for school and followed by TP 3 days later during early this year?
Nope. You didn't.
I kept quiet all the way, doing whatever i can to satisfy all of you.
But i failed in the end.
Maybe luck wasn't on my side the other time.

And now, all i ask for is just a lil' bit of happiness, but you wanna take it away from me.
Don't i deserve happiness?
That's the question in my head.

I'm having sleepless nights everyday.
My mind wasn't in peace.
All i think is just work, work and work.
But did you even appreciate me working, although it's just 4 hours?
I don't know.
Stop telling me about my cousins' salary.
They have a good life, but not me.
Only God knows what i've been through.
At least with that salary of mine, i can support for myself.
I thought it would be a less burden on you, but i was wrong.
I don't know what i should do now.
I need my best buddy. :(

HOW LONG?

2010-10-12T01:00:00.003+08:00

Each and every one of us will perish one day.
It's just the matter of time.
I'll always think, when will i be gone..

I don't know why, but i feel like going nuts slowly.
I'm not praying for that, but i can feel it.
I'm too stressed and depressed with my surroundings.
Never once i have a good sleep in my house, as there's always something in my mind.
Went to aunt's place after morning shift earlier on, and had some sleep there.
Surprisingly, within less than 10 minutes, i'm off to sleep.
But it's otherwise in my own home.
Why is that so?

Too much things running in my mind.
Yes, people see me carving a smile on my face everyday, but there's something behind it too.
From family, to house, to financial, to personal life.
My parents kept bugging me to find other job.
And i'm the only one who can save the house.
I get stressed everytime when this matter is brought up.
I don't know where to turn to, except praying to Allah.
Dear Allah, please forgive my sins that i've done all these while.
Please lighten my burden and my mind.
I don't know till when i can stand.
Coz seriously, i'm very tired. Too tired.

My brother has become my own enemy now.
No respect for me at all, and i'm blamed for everything which has happened.
I kept giving in, till i forgot about myself.
Who expects that things would turn out to be this bad?
Dear brother, i love you a lot.
But why do you always hurt me?
I can't show or explain how i feel now, but once i'm gone, i want him to read this.

Best friends, and SMRT friends have been there for me when i needed them.
To the 4 sisters: You girls have been giving me strength since during school days.
I treated the 4 of you like my own siblings. I've never regretted having best friends like you girls.
To Maroon 6 clan: You girls have been great friends for me and made my school days enjoyable although i was down with problems. Thank you so much girls. ITE days was the best afterall.
To SMRT friends like Herman, Diana, Kak Siti: I thank you all for always being there for me. Herman, thanks for the never ending encouraging words. You're the closest to me amongst the other 2.
I'll never ever throw you people out of my life. I promise.
To my dear Nazirul: Like what i've said, if happens that one day i'm no more by your side, your life has to go on.
You're such a nice and sweet guy.
I've never felt being loved so sincerely.
I thank Allah for giving you to me.
I don't even want you to regret having me in your life.
Coz this Farhana that you know isn't strong at all.
From my health, to everything.
Whatever it is, i want you people to know that Farhana sayang sangat dengan korang semua.

Tears are rolling down as i'm typing all these.
I'm really thankful to have you people in my life.
Allah is great.

AGAIN & AGAIN.

2010-10-10T12:04:00.002+08:00

The hot topic is back.

Dad: So Farhana, have you decided to change job?
Me: No, i'll stay in SMRT.
Dad: Till when? Don't you love this house?
Me: Of course i love it. I'll get a full-time one in SMRT soon.
Dad: When? 1 year? 2 years? *sarcastic*
Me: Not to that extend. *keeps quiet after that*

Don't worry dad. I'll get the full-time one soon, and work till i die.
So that i can save the house, and satisfy everyone.
Coz seriously, i'm really sick and tired of hearing the same thing again and again.
There's no way i'll leave Pasir Ris station.
I love the people too much, that i hate leaving them.
I don't think i can get these kind of attention if i were to work somewhere else.
I think, Pasir Ris station is the only place where i can get my happiness.
I won't leave them.
I understand that i've save my house.
But please, i deserve happiness too.
There's too much stress at home, which i cannot cope with it anymore.
My heart always feels like going to work.
If there's 24 hours of work at Pasir Ris, i'll be more than happy to do it.

Dear Allah, i didn't mean to be rude to my parents, but only you understand me.
I thank you for giving me all the lovely people at Pasir Ris, and because of YOU too, i met Nazirul.
Alhamdulillah, i reach out my hands to you.
I only ask for 3 things dear Allah, full-time job in SMRT which is train officer, long-lasting relationship with Nazirul and happiness in my family.
I don't wanna cry anymore.
Please hear my prayers dear Allah. :(

CHANGED.

2010-10-09T21:42:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

I've given my blog a change of skin.
It seems a bit better now, compared to the previous one which was a bit dull like my life.
I've changed it to a skin which has vibrant colours, and i want my life to be as vibrant as those colours.
Now, i have my love with me.
I'm happy being with him, alhamdulillah.
Praises to Allah. (:

An outing with him tomorrow.
He's applied for leave.
Gonna catch Charlie St Cloud.
The movie looks pretty much exciting.
But hopefully, it will not let me down.
Haha.

Upcoming movie i wanna watch, it's a Hindi movie called "Hisss".
The movie's trailer really thrills me a lot.
Especially when there's snake.
Yikes!
I can't miss the movie.
I'm gonna watch it, once it's in theatres!
Naz, next movie, i wanna watch this please?
Hehehe.
Nasib baik dia ni tengok hindustan jugak.
Tapi tak addicted sangat mcm aku laa.
Hahaha.

Alright people.
It's 10.15pm.
Readers, it's time for you to be in bed.
Haha.
Goodnight earthlings. (:

SPEECHLESS.

2010-10-07T10:08:00.003+08:00

I'm speechless over what i heard with my very own ears this morning.
The moment i wake up and heard a conversation, my tears started to roll down.
I don't know why, whenever my family talks negatively about me, i'll wake up from sleep at that point of time.
It seems like whatever i've done, is not being cared or appreciated at all.
So all these while, they have the thinking that i'm doing all this for myself, not for the family?
I HATE IT WHEN THEY THINK LIKE THAT.
Although i'm not healthy, at least i'm independent at some situations.
I don't shake legs at home.
I still go to work, although i'm sick.
However tired i am, i still took OT to earn extra income.
Coz i know that my pay's not that high.
Although my pay's like that, i'm VERY HAPPY working at Pasir Ris station.
What's the use of working and earning good pay, if your working environment sucks to the core?
I didn't even complain of my ez-link's got low value every now and then.
Yes, i used to, but that was in the beginning when i just started to work in SMRT.
But now, i'm used to it already.
It's already good enough that i'm not they type of daughter who roams outside every weekends, spends money unnecessarily or whatsoever.
I've been tolerating all the nonsense in the house, since last time.
But till when?
I too have feelings.
I have the right to cry too.
This is my main problem.
Which is bottling up everything by myself.
If i expose everything, i'm afraid that i'll be labelled as rude to my family.
I don't want that.
That's the reason i remain silent.
But if this happens repeatedly, i can go nuts.
In fact, it happens all the time.
I'm always in the wrong in their eyes, and i've to given in eventually.
What's this? Do you take me as a doll?

Oh yeah, the best part is, my parents are embarrassed of me working at the platform.
Which they thinks it's only for old people.
Well, if they're embarrassed, i'm not.
Rezeki halal kan?
I don't fancy working in office, i'm not interested in it.
I'm happy as i am now.
I'm looking forward for train officer position.
Dapat kerja full-time, biar semua orang puas hati.
Yelah, kerja train officer standard sikit kan?
Daripada kerja kat platform?
*sighs*
Biar aku kerja, sampai aku tutup mata.
Kalau semua dah settle, biar semua orang puas hati.
I don't even care about myself anymore.

Dear Allah, i need your guidance.
I really want that train officer position.
I really need my driving license this year.
Please give me your blessings dear Allah.
I need you.

AND, FINALLY.

2010-10-04T01:28:00.001+08:00

I've let go of the past, and thrown all the memories away.
We've gone to our separate ways, and i wish you the best.
Change your attitude boy.
Your relationship won't last if you carry on like this.
Aniway, pandai2 la kau jaga diri kau.

Finally, i've said yes to the person.
I'm officially Nazirul's.
4 October 2010.
A day to remember.
He's my present, and hopefully my future.
May Allah bless our relationship.
Amin. (:

YES OR NO?

2010-10-02T23:21:00.002+08:00

He has finally confessed to me, now it's all up to me.
It's either a yes or no.
My colleague was the first person to be so excited.
Belum ada apa2, dah excited.
Hahaha.
Even my best buddy says i'm lucky if i have him.
I've told him that i need some time to think about this.
I ain't wanna rush, coz i don't bad things to happen again.
Well people, if i've made my decision, i'll update this platfrom of mine again yea.
(:

ARE YOU THE ONE?

2010-09-30T12:45:00.002+08:00

Are you the one for me?
Well, that's what my colleagues tell me.
2 months plus of knowing each other, and i slowly get to your real self.
You've got all that i want for my other half.
Will i be in a relationship again?
Maybe yes, maybe no.
Or should i say, i don't know.
My colleague gave me one long piece of advice through sms yesterday.
I still remember what she said, "Remember Fana, good guys are rare to be found. He really likes you. It's better to be loved, than to love."
I agree with her last sentence.
I can't be bothered anymore to find someone to love.
I feel that it's better to be loved.
At least the person knows your true self.
Farahneez, i still remember what you said to me till today.
She said, "Tahu2, jodoh kau dengan orang SMRT eh."
Farahneez, mulut kau ni memang masin eh.

Frankly speaking, i love the way he work, they way he talk and the way he brings himself.
A matured man for his age i can say.
I seldom see guys in his age behaving like him.
Dear Allah, is my prayers answered?
If he's for me, i'll accept it with an open heart.
Coz only YOU know what's and who's the best for me.
If YOU think that he can take care of me, i'll accept him wholeheartedly.
But please, i don't wish to be hurt anymore.
1 year is already long enough for me to forget my past.
UNBELIEVABLE, 1 year.
That really explained how hurt and scared i was.

But what my colleague and friends advised me, it's time for me to open my heart again.
Maybe it's time already.
Let's see what will happen next.
I just hope for good things to come.
Insyallah. (:

THE USUALS.

2010-09-20T13:28:00.004+08:00

I miss my Maroon 6 clan.
Bila nak keluar raya sama-sama ni?
Outing soon okayy!

NEED IT.

2010-09-18T20:42:00.003+08:00

I really need sleep.
I don't know why my eyes feels like shutting down at this time.
It's only 8.45pm, mind you.
Usually i'll never sleep around this time.
It's always 2am onwards.
Maybe it's because of lack of rest.
I've been labelled as "workaholic" by one of the train officers.
Haha.

I skipped my OT, AGAIN.
It's the 2nd time already.
It's not for fun, but i'm really tired.
My dear PSR staffs, please don't be mad at me on Monday when i see all of you okayy.
Sesungguhnya, aku bukan ironlady.
I need rest and sleep to.
I was awakened by Jurong East staff's call this morning.
I told them that i wasn't informed of which station i should report to.
So, not my fault totally okayy.

Anyway, i've finally found a decent person to contact with.
Hopefully, he's different from the other 2.
Insyallah.
If we're meant to be together, we will be together.
I'll leave this to Allah.
Only HE knows the best.
I'll just pray for good things to come.

Alright.
Time to switch off my eyes, mata aku dah tak boleh bukak.
Selamat malam.

BACK ON TRACK.

2010-09-15T01:20:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

I really apologise for not updating my blog.
Been busy with work and some other stuffs.
Anyway, i'm here to wish all my Muslim friends SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN.
Please forgive me if i've done any wrong to you people.
I'm just a normal human being, with lots of mistakes.
May this month bless all of you.
I believe everyone is good looking in this month.
Take care earthlings. (:

COZ EVERY PATIENCE HAS IT'S LIMITS.

2010-08-12T13:35:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

I know i've been neglecting my blog for quite sometime, but now i'm back to update this platform of mine.
It's the 2nd day of Ramadhan, and i'm being put through a test.
A test called Patience.
Many things happened.
So far, all the bad ones.
No good things were in sight.
From family, to work, to friends, and to financial.
And the best thing is, i've noticed this.
SOME PEOPLE CHANGE.
My head can explode anytime with these problems always in my mind.

I really thank Allah for giving me the work at Pasir Ris station.
The people there are amazing.
May Allah bless them always.
From the station staffs who will always share everything they have with me, and to the train officers who never fail to smile, talk, joke around and ask "dah buka ke belum? Orang2 kat bawah dah kasi awak turun?"
And Herman, whom i regard as my best buddy amongst the train officers, will never fail to sms and call me every single day.
I was totally surprised when he said this to me "Farhana, i've been observing that you're someone who smiles and seems happy on the outside, but it's otherwise on the inside.
Gosh.
I can't lie to Herman, can i?
I just got to know him closely last month, but he can say this to me.
I'm grateful to know a friend like him.
Other train officers might be cheeky, but not him.
That's why i'm looking forward to work every single day.
That's the only place where i can get a peace of mind.

Dear Mum & Dad, please don't pressurize me about work.
Give me the chance to do something which i like, for this once please?
Although my earning is little, i still contribute to the house bill and gave you and brother money.
It's not that i wanna make this money issue a big matter, but am i even appreciated?
I hate it when you say this, "Papa's the only one who work. We can only depend on him."
So what am i doing everyday?
I even go to work, when i'm sick.
Coz my attendance is my pay.
I kept all these feelings to myself and bottle it up.
And now i feel like exploding.
The only thing that i can do is cry my heart out in my cozy room.
Herman will be the first person to notice if my voice changes.
He's really a good friend.
I thank Allah for having him as my friend.
Mum & Dad, if you only know how i feel now..
*Sighs*

AND PAPA TURNS 55 TODAY.

2010-08-04T01:13:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 55TH BIRTHDAY TO YOU, PAPA!
I'll always pray to Allah for your long live, health, and happiness.
Hope you liked the Adidas and Puma shirt that i bought for you last week as your advanced birthday present yea.
I Love You, Dad!

IT'S KILLING ME.

2010-07-27T14:45:00.003+08:00

I had a dream last night.
A dream which almost made me shed my tears the moment i woke up.
I don't wanna remember it.
Coz, it will leave me one kind of feeling.
I want my laughing pills.
Uncle Riken, please work with me soon.
I need you as my laughing pill badly. :(

FOUND.

2010-07-24T00:53:00.000+08:00

YES, MY LOVE IS BLIND.

2010-07-24T00:46:00.002+08:00

I guess, everything has ended.
You to your own way, me to my own way.
Just as what i pressumed, my happiness lasts for a while only.
But like what i feel, i don't think there was any story between us, right?
Maybe to you, but maybe not to me.
Luckily, it wasn't even love.
I'm slowly adapting to this ending now.

The "wolves" that the station people are talking about are the ones who keep me smiling at work.
A smile and a conversation doesn't mean that they're cheeky.
Well, most of them are maybe.
But it's all up to you on how to handle them.
Well, at least they care to talk to me.
Especially one of them who likes to wave and play peek-a-boo with my in the train.
That's why i say, i love my job.
Dear Allah, i don't wanna hope for anything special anymore.
That's your job, and i'll just accept it.
I just don't wanna lose the people whom i see at the station everyday, including the train officers.
They're my friends, they're my bunch of jokers, they're my colleagues.
Make me stay there forever, dear Allah.

AND, IT'S ALREADY THE 20TH.

2010-07-20T12:50:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Time checked: 12.53PM
I'm still in a sleepy mode actually.
Slept about 3.30am, thanks to Herman. -_-
Nevertheless, he made me laugh with all his jokes on the phone.
He actually said this, "You really like to smile and laugh eh. Whenever i see you at the platform, you will surely smile. Not to me only, but other people too."
Aww. It's hard to hear people saying this to me.
Coz, i've always been labelled as fierce. -_-

I was supposed to pay back my fast today.
BUT, my parents don't allow me to fast for today.
Reason? I FORGOT TO TURN ON MY ALARM, TILL I DIDN'T HAVE MY PRE-DAWN MEAL. -_-
I woke up at 5.45am, and the "Azan" is already being heard.
I wanted to go on fasting, but my parents object it, as they were scared that i might faint again.
Sheesh.
Nevermind, there's always tomorrow. (:
Breaking fast yesterday at the station gave me a different kind of feeling.
It was my first time breaking fast, during working time.

Aniway, i might be visiting Diana Siddek again tomorrow.
This time round with Herman, as requested by him.
Konon nya malu la tu nak pergi sorang2.
Eleh. Menyampah aku.
Haha!
He's going off to Phuket on Thursday for 5 days.
Bro, my souveneir jangan lupa eh.
Haha!
And ouh, don't be disheartened by your TP results.
I've gone through it before.
The feeling sucked, when you see the word "FAIL".
I know that.
Nevermind, have your 2nd try in September okayy.
Good luck. (:

Alright people.
I'm off now.
I wanna have my lunch.
My stomach's been making sounds since just now.
Good day earthlings.

YOU'RE 21 BRO!

2010-07-18T20:46:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Another July baby's birthday.
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY KHAIRULNIZAM!
May you lead a blessed life full of love and happiness. (:

IT'S MY DAILY COMPANION.

2010-07-15T13:33:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Time checked: 1.33pm
I still have few more hours to go, then i'll leave for work.
Alone at home, again.
It seems that lonely has become my daily companion.
People around me are leading a happy life, whereas i'm putting on a fake smile everywhere i am.
I eat alone, i shop for things alone, i leave for work alone and i go back from work alone.
And i certainly don't know what's happening to the outside world.
Seeing people spending their time with their loved ones and friends, makes me envy of them.
Am i not entitled to that kind of life?
I can only sigh seeing them.
Yes, i am leading a boring life.

To Khairul Naim, thanks for the advice yesterday.
You've been a great friend all these while, and thanks for the listening ears.
I wish you everlasting happiness with Shazyan. (:
In fact, i wish all my attached friends a happy life with their other half.
If i'm fated to be alone, i cannot do anything.
Just accept it.

Work yesterday sucked.
Thanks to the train officer, my mood for the whole day at work spoilt.
Fcuk you uh!
I'm not a kiddo that you can anyhow scold in front of a passenger.
I'M WEARING THE SAME UNIFORM AS YOU, IDIOT!
You respect me, i'll respect you.
You tick me off, i'll give you double hell till you're silent.
You got it after that, right?
Don't blame me for yesterday's incident.
It's your fault for the last minute changes.
And please uh, the microphone in your cabin is for making annoucements in the train, NOT FOR DISPLAY!
I'm just following the announcements at the platform.
You, as a train officer, have to help us too.
You're only driving the train, I'M DEALING WITH PASSENGERS!
Not only 10 or 20, hundreds of them!
And there's only 2 Service Ambassadors at the platform.
My job is not easy like you think okayy?
Jangan ingat aku ni adik2 kau, yg kau nak marah2 aku mcm gitu eh.
After giving you a piece of my mind, then you started talking nicely to me.
Siap nak kasi advice lagi of what to do!
Hello, i've been working as a Service Ambassador FOR 3 MONTHS OKAYY!
Not 3 days!
I know what to do.
It's not that i wanna boast about this, but if you can do, it can do it too.
Understood?
Get this straight in your head!

MEANINGFUL.

2010-07-14T00:49:00.005+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

I've got some advice to share here.
It's from my ex-ITE schoolmate, Shakirah Emilia.

Advice No.1:

The secret to handle people who judge you is by knowing their weaknesses and keep it to urself..when they realised that u know about their weaknessess but u kept it to urself,they will be extremely embarrased of what they have done to u..

Advice No.2:

It's all the brain that do the thinking..why must we care wat ppl want say about us...i think those we should care what Allah think of us..bcoz human die..but Allah doesnt..

Advice No.3:

those advices is not only for me..but it is a reminder for me too..when u are strong,ppl will think before they hurt u..n even they tried to hurt my dear farhana,i dun think they will be successful..bcoz i will always pray to Allah so that he protect those ppl that i love and those that i respect.

From Farhana's facebook, posted by Shakirah.

Advice No. 4:

Oh Allah pls let me love someone not bcoz of his wealth,looks and property.. but bcoz of his religion and his love for you.

From Shakirah's facebook.

I really admire Shakirah for who she is.
She's one of the girls who wears the "tudung", whom i really respect.
I've been observing this, whenever she's troubled over something or others, she will turn to Allah.
I'm glad that i know Shakirah.
She's one of a good example to others.
Dear Allah, please protect Shakirah always.

SEORANG INSAN YANG AKU RINDU.

2010-07-11T23:29:00.002+08:00

My tears dropped when i hear this song.
I came across this song when i was listening to Sejuta Maaf by Achik Spin.
It's an unreleased track.
Super sad song.
And ouh, it's 11 JULY TODAY. -_-

This number really haunts me a lot.
It seems that wherever i am, this number will be with me.
Yes, i've been observing that.
The wound is still not healed yet.
There were flashbacks, at times.
I forced myself not to remember it.
I forced myself to put on a smile everytime.
I can, but only at work.
People at work make me happy.
That's why, i love my job.
Although it far, it's fine with me.
I've got no complaints now.
Maybe what my partner said was right, it's a blessing in disguise.
I've made new friends, i learn new things.
I'm trying my best to forget the past.
Give me time.

I miss Mr[insertnamehere].
Readers, if i fail again this time round, i'll tell you this.
I GIVE UP.
I feel like things aren't going in my way.
*Sighs*
Sometimes, people leave me in a confused state.
Period.

I LOVE YOUR HAIR, TAYLOR!

2010-07-04T14:06:00.002+08:00

Taylor Swift, i envy your hair!
I want those kind of curls pleaseee?

AND WHEN BOREDOM STRIKES..

2010-07-03T23:16:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

My Saturday was spent by working.
Duty at Choa Chu Kang LRT today.
Lucky, it's only for 4 hours.
I swear, if there's any OT at LRT again, i'll not do it.
Boring to the max!
Especially when you're alone at the station. -_-

Went back home straight after work, and catch some sleep.
A good one indeed, as i only got 2 hours of sleep yesterday.
Hahaha.
So, my Saturday was spent just like that.
I'm still waiting for confirmation from Mr[insertnamehere] for tomorrow's meet-up.
Hopefully, it will go on. (:
Mr[insertnamehere], i want your company again.

Aniway, it's World Cup fever now.
Everyone's going gugu-gaga over Germany VS Argentina's game.
Argens, you really made me disappointed.
How am i going to face Mr Asri a.k.a Mr Train officer at Pasir Ris on Monday?
Nampak dia jer, buat muka tebal eh. Haha!
And HOLLAND, please! I'm counting on you!
Don't disappoint me okayy?
Hahaha.

To Diana Sidek, please get well soon.
I'm terribly shocked after hearing what happened to you.
Soryy if i didn't have the time to visit you in hospital, as i'm always busy with work.
But, rest assured i'll pray for your speedy recovery.
Cepat-cepat baik! We can gossip at the platform again. (:

Okayy people.
I'm done.
Let's see how my day goes tomorrow.
Goodnight earthlings.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BESTIE! (:

2010-07-01T12:32:00.003+08:00

I would like to wish this July baby here, HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY AMJAD!
May you be blessed with all the happiness in the world and good health yeah.
You've been a great friend, right from the start i knew you.
Hopefully, this friendship will stay strong like before yeah.
Lastly, all the best in your future endeavours! (:

YOUR SECRET'S OUT, BOY!

2010-06-30T13:29:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Today's the last day for the month of June.
And the very last day of this month, i got to know the truth about someone.
WOW! I'm surprised, but i'm happy that i didn't keep in contact with you for eons.
I know what i'm doing. I thank Allah for this!
This issue is not related to Mr[insertnamehere] at all, instead it's the Train Officer which i did mention about him at my past posts.

Number 1: I'm not the type of girl who dates 5-10 guys at one time. I stick to 1 only.
Number 2: I'll only date someone who's SINGLE, and UNMARRIED.
Number 3: Never ever compare me with other girls that you have known.
Number 4: I hate it when i'm being the hot topic amongst you people.
FOR GOD'S SAKE, I AIN'T A CELEBRITY OKAYY.
Number 5: I won't hesitate to change my mind about you, if i know something's wrong in you.

Get this 5 points straight in your head boy!
I've told you upteen times, that i'm single, but i'm dating someone.
But you still choose to sms me.
Fine, i replied to your msges, but as a COLLEAGUE only.
Not more than that.
Sepatah kau tanya, sepatah aku jawab.
Aku tak kuasa nak layan orang mcm kau, yg kadang2 tak faham bahasa.
And, at least i know my limits.
Not like you!
I would rather waste my prepaid for Mr[insertnamehere].
Boy, i'm sorry but i don't even know whether we could still be friends or not.
That particular phone call just now, really changed everything.
My few last words, GET LOST!

26.

2010-06-26T22:23:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Seeing the number 26, made me remember everything in the past.
I totally hate it.
But somehow, i managed to forget about it when i made myself busy.

Aniway, today's outing with the other 4 girlfriends to Woodlands Waterfront was cancelled as some of them couldn't make it at the last minute.
So, plan brought forward to tomorrow.
Going with Farah, prolly might ask Shafeeq along.
Yes, Shafeeq.
It's been eons since i talked to him as something happened between us.
Just a misunderstanding.
I wanna clear things up, as i don't wanna have any bad blood with him.
That isn't my style at all.
Moreover, i need to pay him duit chalet yang terbekalai tu. -_-

Not much updates for this week.
I'm waiting for Mr Solihin's msg for the next meet up. *smiles widely*
Hehe!
Okayy readers.
I seriously need to go to the loo now.
My stomach hasn't been feeling good since morning.
Please eh perut, don't make my day spoil tomorrow.
Haha.
Goodnight readers.

EMPTY.

2010-06-23T00:58:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Time checked: 1am
I'm currently listening to Baik Baik Sayang by Wali Band.
Heard it in the staff room at work just now, and i couldn't bear to hear it when it comes to the chorus part.
I was afraid that my eyes would be filled with tears hearing it.
I just dashed out of the room, leaving the radio on.
I know, it's bad.
Now, i'm hearing it again.
Yes, i'm forcing myself to hear the song.

To you, am i falling in love with you?
I'm confused.
You were in my mind at all times now, and i don't know why.
I do feel empty when there's no calls or msgs from you.
And when your name appeared at my phone, i jumped for joy.
At times, i feel scared.
Aku tanak bertepuk sebelah tangan saje.
Enough is enough for me.
I don't wanna put on hopes, but it seems like i'm attracted to you.
The more i try not to think of you, the more i remember you.

I don't deny that i too want someone in my life.
Maroon 6 cliques are all attached, except for me.
Yes, i don't have many friends.
I don't socialize like other people do.
I don't hang out like other teenagers.
I'm always at home, and it's hard for me to go out.
But, i still have feelings.
I too want to have a life like other girls.
But it seems like nobody's giving me a chance have a life like that.
Seeing my bestest people with their other half, makes my heart drown.
I don't feel jealous, but sad.

Solihin, i miss you.
Times spent with you weren't enough for me.
Dear Allah, please make him a good person.
Gosh, i'm in tears typing all these.
Readers, i'm signing off.

NO MORE BAD ROMANCE PLEASE?

2010-06-21T12:04:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Yesterday was well spent.
My plan to go JB with mum and aunt was cancelled, as i wanna visit Sheeda.
So, only mum and aunt went to JB.
I had to wait for Farah to finish her work and she has to for a wedding function after that.
Was supposed to meet her at 6pm.
But, around 3.30pm, i received a call.
It's from Solihin. (:
Aww. Imma happy girl for a moment.
Haha.
He was at CCK, and wanted to meet me.
So, since i did nothing at home, other than staring at my lappy, i went to meet him.
AKU PAKAI TUDUNG OKAYY.
Haha!
Spent about 2 hours with him.
Then, about 5.50pm, i received call from Farah, saying that she's on the way to Jurong East.
But i was late meeting her.
Sorry Farah! Bukan salah aku.
Dia tu yg suruh aku extend 10-15 mins.
Hahaha!
Aku happy sangat2 moments dgn dia. (:

Another meet-up soon pretty please?
Moreover, i was still shocked by what he said to me yesterday.
I shall not reveal it here.
RAHSIA!
Haha.
Thank you for making my day.
I really hope to see you again soon. (:

FATHER'S DAY.

2010-06-20T11:43:00.000+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

It's Father's Day today.
I would like to wish Happy Father's Day to my dearest dad.
Thank you for all the love and the sacrifices that you've done for us.
I really appreciate that.
Rest assured, i'll slog hard to ease your burden.
And the house will still be ours.
I love you, Dad.

I was shocked by the news of my friend's dad passed away today.
Sheeda, be strong girl.
Allah loves your dad more.
Pray for him, so that his soul will be placed amongst the good ones.
We'll extend our prayers to him too.
Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya.
AMIN.

DO I HAVE THE RIGHT TO MISS YOU?

2010-06-18T01:42:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

I'm actually super duper tired now, after a long day at work.
I'm doing overtime for 4 days straight at Expo station.
After that, back to Pasir Ris till 10.30pm.
Sheesh.

I had to assist passengers at the General Ticketing Machine from yesterday at Expo.
Naik sakit jari aku picit2 itu screen. -_-
I can now imagine, how many millions of dollars SMRT can make in one day.
WOW.
90% of the passengers had many $50 notes in their wallet and purse.
Biasa la, foreigners.
Rich what. Haha!
If only i have that kind of cash in my purse.
OMG. I'll go on a shopping spree!
Haha.

I'm missing Mr[insertnamehere]'s msgs and calls.
He'll be busy these few days.
Aww. :(
But, like what i put my title as, do i even have the right to miss you?
I don't even know.
But, i'll not lie to myself.
Indeed, i miss you.
Yes, i'm starting to like you.
But i don't dare to say it's love.
*Sighs*
Like what my sisters say, let nature take it's course.
But hopefully, you'll be the one.

I've updated my blog, readers.
I'm off to sleep now.
Goodnight.

BACK.

2010-06-13T17:06:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

I'm back blogging, after fixing my mood.
Oh well. Yesterday's dinner with family and relatives at Golden Landmark Hotel was awesome.
It's a treat from my cousin bro.
Food there was great, especially the "Naan" bread.
It's all Indian dishes by aniway.
Haha.
Cousin sisters, Shameem and Aisha just came back from Phuket and Cambodia.
Only difference is one is on honeymoon, and the other is educational tour.
Hahaha.
They bought for me keychains and pants.
Aww. Thank you cousins. (:

Before heading for dinner, we went to Kampung Jawa.
Mum and aunts wanted to buy fabrics for Raya.
So, i got to choose my own ones.
Blue, white and maroon were my choices. (:
After that, went to window shop at Golden Landmark while waiting for dinner time.
Overall, had a great time with cousins and relatives. (:

Aniway, back to work tomorrow.
Solihin asked me out 2 days back, i couldn't make it.
So sorry yeah.
Salah timing la. I was working on that day.
And he was at Tampines at that point of time.
Wasted la Hana.
But no choice, i've to work.
Sheesh.
No words could describe my happiness when i received his call during my breaktime. *smiles widely*
Another time, please? (:

I'm gonna have my super duper late lunch now.
I'm done updating my blog for today.
Ciao earthlings!

WILL BE AWAY FOR A FEW DAYS.

2010-06-11T14:08:00.001+08:00

HEY READERS.

I'll be away from blogging for a few days.
I simply don't have the mood.
I feel empty and lonely.
Period.
Goodbye readers.

3 WORDS, I MISS YOU.

2010-06-11T00:31:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

I just got back from work.
I'm tired actually, but checking my facebook and blogging is important to me before going to sleep.
Haha.
Work today was fine, except for a drunkard case again. -_-
2 "Matreps" were drunk in the train, and i've to attend to them as i was alone at that point of time.
No choice. *Sighs*
These 2 idiots weren't drunk because of alcohol, but because of something else.
You readers should know what i mean. (:
And unlucky me, I HAD TO CARRY ONE OF THEM UP. -_-
He was totally drunk, and even couldn't stand on his own.
Please la. If i'm the Incredible Hulk or whatever superheroes, of course i can carry you.
But for God's sake, i'm a girl.
Nmpk badan kecik, tapi berat nak mampus!
Buat malu orang melayu jer dgn perangai korang yg nak step western!
Dah tu, susahkan aku pulak.
Ish!
And the other guy still have the cheek to say this to me, "Please, jgn kecoh2 ah."
He started to react like that when i called my station manager up to help me.
Eh Mat, kau ingat aku senang2 nak kasi kau lepas dgn condition korang mcm gitu eh?
Get a life man!
Even the train officer couldn't help me, as he has to drive off the train already.
Nevermind T.O, i understand you.
Haiz. Matreps2 nowadays.
Aku tak faham ah.

Anyway, i'm missing Mr[insertnamehere]'s company.
I've been trying to contact him always, and alhamdulillah, he replied to my msgs and call. (:
And to my closest friends, korang suka nah bebual pasal jodoh aku dgn dia.
Tapi friends, aku tak tahu kenape, aku takde 100% confident.
Tapi aku boleh bilang korang yg aku comfortable and kind of like him.
But hopefully, mulut korang tu masin eh.
Pasal aku seriously dah tak kuasa nak carik yg lain after what happened in the past.
I really want something good to happen to the 2 of us.
Mr[insertnamehere], actually i'm scared to say this, but i miss you.
Yes, i do.

Alright readers.
It's already 12.55am.
I've been keeping late nights.
Well, that's me.
Haha.
Farhana's signing off now.
Goodnight earthlings.

JUST MARRIED.

2010-06-06T22:12:00.002+08:00

Congratulations to my cousin, Shameem and her husband, Fazlin!
Selamat Pengantin Baru.
They got married yesterday, which was held at Lagun Sari.
I'm happy for you cousin.
And Fazlin, welcome to our family. (:
May your marriage last forever.
Best wishes to you cousin!
Pics will be uploaded in my facebook. (:

BIRTHDAY MUMMIES.

2010-06-06T22:03:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MUM & AUNT!
Mum turned 55 years old today, but i'm not to sure about my aunt's age.
Hehe.
May you both be blessed with health, happiness and love yeah.
Love ya! (:

IT'S NOT GETTING BETTER.

2010-06-03T13:09:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

My cough is certainly not getting any better, instead it's getting a bit worse.
I force myself to take the cough syrup, although it's drowsy.
And now my eyes are getting heavier as i'm updating my blog.
Ouh please, i need to get well before cousin's wedding on Saturday.
I'm pretty excited about it. (:

A pity i couldn't be there when cousin's putting on Henna tomorrow.
I've to work. :(
But, shall ask my aunt to take photos of it.
I'll be sleeping over cousin's house tomorrow to prepare for her wedding and stuffs.
Lucky i'll not be working on weekends.
Coincidentally the field will be closed for maintainance for about 1 month plus.
Finally, i can get my rest. (:

Aniway, to the train officer, i'm actually tired of seeing your msgs every single day.
It's not that i'm choosy or what, but it's better for us to be just friends.
Moreover, like what i've told you, i'm the type who only stick to one date.
I've made everything clear to you.
Now, it's up to you whether you wanna accept it or not.
I'll treat you the same as how i treat other train officers.

And yeah, ever since the day i met [insertnamehere], i feel more happy now.
Just the thought of him, makes me smile.
And i just received a msg from him when i'm typing all this. (:
Seriously, he made me forget "Mr F" slowly.
Yes, after almost 9 months, there's someone who made me forget him.
Frankly speaking, i really don't wanna lose someone like [insertnamehere].

Dear Allah, i'm already comfortable with him, i really don't wanna lose him.
I've lost my love once, i don't wanna lose it again.

COZ YOU MADE ME SMILE.

2010-06-01T11:39:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

It's been 3 days straight i'm having fever and coughing non-stop.
I've got no choice, but to bear with it.
I'll not take MC. I just hate it.
It's not the same like school times, we can take MC as and when we like.
And it's totally different from working life.
So, as long i still can hold on, i'll still go to work.
Allah is there to protect me. (:

Aniway, yesterday was spent well.
Went out to meet Solihin at Sembawang, as he called saying that he's bored and asked me to accompany him.
Aww. I'm happy that he called me. *smiles widely*
He called around 3pm, and guess what?
I haven't even take my shower at that time.
Plus i don't know whether i could make it on time for work.
But, i just gambled and went to meet him.
Hahaha. I'm afraid that there won't be another chance.

Met him at Sun Plaza.
I've noticed something. Everywhere i go, the person who's standing next to me is always taller than me.
Same goes for Solihin.
He's 185m, mind you. Whereas i'm only 159m. -_-
Then off to his place as he wanted to put his stuffs at home.
Wait people. Don't get the wrong idea eh.
I didn't go into his house.
I told him that i'll be waiting for him at the lift area.
Haha.

Slacked around, and i told him that i've to go off by 5pm.
Guess we were too engrossed sharing stories and laughing non-stop till i was late for work.
Haha.
Went off from Sembawang at 6pm.
OMG. First ever time i'm late for work.
Haha!

First time meeting him, and i felt comfortable.
Hopefully there will be a 2nd time.
Insyallah. (:
Alright readers.
I'm off to have my lunch first, then medicine time.
Haha.
To the 4 Sisters and Maroon 6, i've updated my story. (:

THAT KIND OF FEELING.

2010-05-30T01:08:00.003+08:00

I don't know why i have this kind of feeling, but i do miss you.
I've tried to avoid this feeling, but it doesn't seem to go away.
The more i try to forget, the more i'll remember you.
Yes Mr [insertnamehere], i miss your messages.
Like what i've said before, i feel comfortable when you msg me.
There's always a smile on my face when you text or call me.
Seriously, i miss your calls.
Things related to you are starting to surround me.
Never i thought that we would be contacting each other.
However, i'll still not pin on any hopes.
I don't want my hopes to be shattered into pieces for the 2nd time.
If i were to date someone, there's only you in my mind.
I'm too scared to keep my options open, coz i know myself.
I'm not that strong, and my friends know that too.
I really pray to Allah, to make you a good person.
I can't afford to shed any tears anymore.
Yes i know, i've rejected to go out with you a few times.
I wish i could turn back the clock.
Now, i've to wait till you msg me.
But, i've got no choice.
I was too scared to know other guys at that point of time.
But after so much persuasion from friends, i started to msg you.
Yup, i'll try my best to reply your msgs and pick up your calls, eventhough i'm busy.

Dear Allah, if i were to be in love again, please let the person be him. Only YOU know what's inside my heart, and only YOU know him the best. Please make him a good person, coz i don't want to get disappointed anymore.
AMIN.

IT'S THURSDAY ALREADY?

2010-05-27T13:15:00.002+08:00

Good noon earthlings.

Time checked: 1.26pm
I've yet to iron my shirt to go to work later.
Bagus Hana.
I've decided to leave my uniform at the station itself, as it will be more easier.
I don't have to put on sweater anymore.
Imagine wearing a sweater during hot weather!
People might think that i'm nuts!
Haha!

Work's currenly fine.
I'm enjoying every moment during worktime.
Abang2 train officers sungguh kacak!
It's like, "Sambil menyelam minum air."
Hahaha!
Some of them are friendly, and some don't.
Mostly, pakciks2.
Dah tua2, sombong pulak.
Apa salahnya kalau senyum jer?
Susah sangat ke?
Lagipun, aku pun tak heran okayy.
Haiz. Dunia2. -_-

Others will have an off day tomorrow, whereas i've to work.
Overtime at Expo. -_-
Dearest Expo, when are your exhibitions gonna be over?
Selagi ada exhibitions, selagi tu laa muka aku ada kat Expo.
Tapi takpe. Aku dah ada member kat sana.
CSO RAMBUT MERAH! I hope to see you tomorrow okayy!
At least aku tak boring sangat.
Haha.

I've collected my new specs at Yew Tee Point just now.
New specs = satisfaction.
This time, i chose the brand Vogue.
Since the shop's having a promotion for the branded ones, i might as well grab it.
I wanted the Puma one at first, but some of them are not to my liking.
Then i wanted the Nike one, but it'll cost up to 300 bucks.
Budget lari oi!
Haha.
So, the last choice was Vogue.
Somehow, i liked the specs and i took it. (:
And like finally, i can see very very clearly!
Hahaha.
The old specs, boleh simpan buat display eh.
Haha.

Okayy readers. I'm going to have my shower now, and off to work.
Weather at my place doesn't look good.
If it rains, i need to go out early.
Please eh, don't rain.
Sini hujan, Pasir Ris punya trains kasi aku susah.
Kalau dah susah, semua cock up.
Kalau semua cock up, siapa yg kena nanti?
AKU JUGAK.
Haha!
Toodles!

FINALLY!

2010-05-25T12:39:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

FINALLY, i'm back active in facebook and blog, after almost 1 month with no internet connection at home.
Got my pay on the 23rd, and settled the Starhub bill so that i can use the net again.
Got back from work yesterday, jumped onto my bed and immediately on my lappy.
Haha.
Once i check my facebook, tadaa!
There were lots of birthday wishes.
I was surprised. Haha.
I was to engrossed replying comments in my facebook, till i forgot my meal.
I ended up skipping my lunch and dinner for yesterday.
Haha!
A million thanks to the 4 sisters for the surprise advanced birthday celebration on 22nd May.
You girls got me again. Haha!
And thanks for the card.
All pics taken will be uploaded in my facebook soon. (:
Not forgetting to those who wished me through sms.
The first person to wish me was Farahneez.
Haha!
A big thank you to Maroon 6 cliques, ex-classmates, ex-schoolmates, cousins, friends and facebook friends for the wishes.
And, thanks to Farahliyana and Hydayu for posting about me in your blog.
I'm loss for words for that, especially when i saw Farahliyana's blog.
We don't talk to each other in school, and only exchanged smiles.
I was totally surprised when you posted about my birthday in your blog.
Thank you. (:
I really appreciate it a lot, Farahliyana & Hydayu.

And yeah, i've turned 20 today.
Goodbye to number 1, hello to number 2.
No more behaving like a child, but young adult.
It's time for me to really carry out my responsibilities.
I've to look forward in life as in career and financial.
Sometimes i just wanna put aside about relationships, but sometimes i don't want to.
I'll get myself only confused about this.
*sighs*
The 4 sisters and Maroon 6 cliques have been telling me to go out with "him".
But it seems like time is always the problem.
Somehow, i do feel slight comfortable with him.
But yeah, i don't wanna put expectations.
Let's just see what happens.

Alright readers.
I'm done updating for today.
Will push myself to update frequently aite.
Haha. (:

NOTHING ON SATURDAY.

2010-04-24T22:58:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Time checked: 11.00pm
Okayy, somehow, i need to forget this number 11.
It really haunts me a lot.
I'll only remember 11 September, which is Farah's birthday.
No worries babe, i'll never forget your birthday. (:

Woke up at 10.30am just now.
Ever since i started working in SMRT, the number of hours of sleeping for me has increased.
Super duper tired.
Been reaching home at 12 everyday.
Good. People sleeping soundly, i just came back from work. -_-
I've not been having proper meals, as i was afraid that stomach pains will act up when i'm on duty.
Instead, i'll buy some snacks and place in the station's pantry.
Haha.

It rained in the afternoon just now, and the field couldn't be opened to public.
So, instead of sitting and rotting at home, i went to the void deck to slack with Farah.
She came with Ayeesyaa, together with Mikhail.
Slacked till 4 plus, as Ayeesyaa and Mike wants to meet the Hamlau's.
How i miss spending time with the Hamlau's.
I wish i could turn back the clock, during the Nitec times.
It's like almost everyday we get to meet.
*sighs*

Okayy. Actually, someone did ask me out.
It's not once, but twice already.
I kept rejecting by giving him excuses.
I'm afraid that what happened in the past will act up again.
This person was from ITE Clementi too, but in Fitness Training.
The last time i saw him was in May last year, when i became the usher for the graduates.
He's in the same class as Arif.
Arif knows him very well.
Well, he seemed like a good person to me.
But i need to ask Arif about him first.
It's better to be safe, than sorry.
Arif, i so need you now.

Readers, i'm going to bed now.
My collar bone has been aching lately.
I need some rest.
Alright. Goodnight earthlings.

REVEALED.

2010-04-18T12:23:00.003+08:00

My 2nd post for today.
I really have to blog about this.
I got to know everything about "you" by one of my friend yesterday.
I was really fucking shocked when i got to know all that.
I'm really thankful to my friend, for telling me everything.
I'm having mixed emotions.
Shocked, sad, angry, disappointed....
Basically, everything.
Thanks for making me like a fool!
I've been so stupid and naive.
After hearing all this, i can now categorise you same like other guys.
Like what my friend said, i've wasted my years on you, for 7 months.
I've never felt like this before.
You were my first love, and you're also the first person who gave the phobia of relationships and the name, love.
I've had enough already.
I'm lucky that my friend told me everything about you, or i might have went into deeper.
After hearing all those stories, you made me cry once again coz now i know the real you.
It's best that i don't see you for now.
I don't wish to hate you or what.
I won't gain anything by doing that.
Even if i have to meet you, i'll take it as a professionalism act.
If you happen to read this or what, i'll tell you that i've forgiven you.
I'm not God, to judge whether i should forgive you or not.
We now don't mean anything to each other.
All i can say is, i hope you'll change for the better.
I'll erase all the memories i had with you, coz i don't know whether you're sincere or not during those times.
I felt cheated and being played out.
What have we done to you, that you did all these to me and my friend?
Only you and God have the answer.
Rest assured, i'll not get myslef involve in relationships anymore.
Don't blame me, coz your actions lead me to this.
Please change for the better.
Remember, karma is going around.

Yours truly,
Farhana.

SHOCKING.

2010-04-18T12:03:00.003+08:00

AL-FATIHAH TO ACHIK (SPIN).

He met with a car accident yesterday, and died on the spot.
It's very shocking for me.
I was his fan.
I love listening to his songs.
The lyrics are all meaningful, and it's simply nice to listen to.
Till now, all his songs are still in my phone.
I remember the first time i listen to his songs, and that was when i was still in Primary 5.
Yes, i was still in primary school that time.
The first ever song i listened was Gurauan Berkasih.
I heard in in MTV, and kept pestering mum and dad to buy for me the karaoke when they went to JB.
They really bought for me, and that was when i really got hooked to Spin.
And now his gone, it's still unbelievable.
Even if Spin gets its new vocalist, it's still can't be same like Achik's times.
Achik, our prayers are with you.
Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu, dan tempatkanmu disisi orang-orang yg beriman.
Amin.

AL-FATIHAH.

2010-04-16T11:58:00.001+08:00

AL-FATIHAH TO A.HAMID BIN JALI.

Today marks the 1 year death anniversary of Farah's dad.
How time flies.
May Allah bless your soul.
Amin Rabbal Alamin.

END OF TRAINING.

2010-04-16T10:55:00.002+08:00

MORNING EARTHLINGS.

Yesterday was the last day of my SMRT training for CSA Batch 30.
The training was for 4 days.
Time really flies.
It's saddening though.
How i wish there's training everyday.
I'm certainly gonna miss the laughters, jokes and the people.
Although some of them are aunties and uncles, the're young at heart.
I've made ne friends there.
There closest ones are Kak Noris, Julia and Kak Nora.
The 3 of them are a bunch of jokers.
Especially Kak Noris.
Her laughter is very infectious you know.
We can een laugh like noboday's business in trains.
Haha!

A pity, all of them including Farah were posted to different stations.
Except for Kak Noris and Julia.
The 2 of them are gonna work at the same station, which is at Dhoby Ghaut but in the new Circle Line.
How lucky!
Kak Nora was posted to Bras Basah station in the new Circle Line too.
Same goes to Farah, Circle Line but hers is at Paya Lebar.
I was posted to Pasir Ris station.
The only one among the cliques posted to Main Line.
I'm proned to face "One-Under" cases.
One-Under cases means, suicidal cases.
WTH. -_-
Hopefully, i'll not face such cases eh.
Touch wood!
Luckily, mine's in the afternoon shift for today.
I really need some sleep, after sacrificing my rest for the past 4 days due to training.

After training yesterday, the 5 of us went to have our dinner at Plaza Singapura.
Window shopped for a while, and headed back home.
I almost forgot to buy socks for myself.
Luckily i remembered when i reached Yew Tee station.
Phew!
Ladies! Outing soon okayy!
We shall hit the gym during our off day.
(:

Okayy readers.
The time now is 11.11 am.
Number 11 again. -_-
I'm off to clean my room, and iron my uniform.
I need to report for work at 6.30pm.
Toodles earthlings.

DOESN'T GO RIGHT.

2010-04-11T21:01:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

A bad day today, i should say.
It started off when i woke up from sleep, when i heard something which concerned my cousins, wasn't right.
My blood really boiled upon hearing that.
Went to shower and got ready for work.
That was problem number 1.
Problem number 2: Dad lost his bke and filed key, but luckily he found his bike key first. So, he had to use my field key to open his field which is at Kranji Sec.
Had to wait for 15 mins for brother to come back with the key.
*Sighs*
Problem number 3: I was really pissed off when i was all ready for work, and when i reached the field, it was occupied with kids and parent support group.
Buat penat aku siap2 sia.

So, i went back to home and Farah came.
Slacked around watching 2 Hindi movies instead.
After that, we went to Farah's place since she had forgotten to take her late dad's adult ez-link card.
I purchased mine too.
It cost 15 bucks. -_-
Went to and fro from CCK to Yew Tee using my ITE ez-link card as i wanted to finish the value before it expires.
After taking Farah's ez-link, went to Sunshine Place and bought Sweetalk.
Weather was super hot and i was perspiring all the way.
Saw Yasni there.
It's been eons since i saw him.
He's all different now, as he's serving his NS in Civil Defence now.

Problem number 4: Farah and me went back to my home to take the field key and forms.
But no one was at home, as i had no key.
I got really angry at that moment.
Called dad, and luckily he had the house key.
I've got no choice, but to take the key from dad's place.
But dad called and said that he'll be sending me the key and asked me to wait at the bustop.
Luckily.
Got the key, take the forms and headed back to that field in the noon.
The usual kids came to play, and they made me smile for a while.
Especially when i saw my little eyecandy, Farhan.
I just love looking at him.
Maybe something about this little boy here attracted me.
But his name.. Farhan. :(

Unfortunately, it rained.
Had to close the field and waited for around 15 mins.
After that, Farah and me went back to my home.
Farah wanted to use the lappy as she wanted to show me something.
Problem number 5: Farah was checking her facebook, and i saw "his" facebook in Farah's friends list.
My heart broke when i saw his display picture.
My tears dropped, in front of Farah.
Yes, i'll have to go through all this.
It's karma for me, like "someone" said in his blog.
I'm going through double like what he went through.
It's the first time i'm feeling like this.
I'm not strong to face all this.
I've got no support.
It gave me phobia of love and relationships.
Yes, indeed it gives me the jitters talking about love now.

Problem number 6: Had a tiff with brother, and i feel like he's totally different now.
I'm not being respected at all.
No one gives me the respect in this family.
Mum blamed me for the fight with brother.
I've got no choice, but to bottle up these feelings.

6 problems for today.
How cool is that?
It happened today, on the 11th.
I'm beginning to feel scared of this number, really.
I really had a bad day.
I pray to Allah to make my tomorrow a better one, and hopefully Farah and me can go through our work training successfully without any problems.
Dear Allah, know one knows what inside my heart, other than YOU.
Please make my tomorrow a better day.

20TH.

2010-04-08T22:39:00.000+08:00

Happy 20th Birthday to you, Norzaidah Zainol. (:
If I say stay gorgeous, you'll say that Maha Esa will surely take it back.
Which is actually true.
Haha.
The most important thing is, stay happy and may you be blessed always yeah.
(:

CRASHED.

2010-04-03T23:04:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

My poly admission was unsuccessful.
My hopes were crashed when i saw the word "Unsuccessful" in the screen.
But, it's just i expected.
I'm not that surprised with it, as i knew how i did for this semester.
However, i'm still happy.
I've successfully graduated with a full cert of HIGHER NITEC IN BUSINESS ADMINSTRATION.
Plus, the NITEC IN SERVICE SKILLS (OFFICE).
I still thank Allah for this.
Alhamdulillah, i've made it through.

To all my friends who have made it to polytechnic, i wish you guys and girls all the best okayy.
And to those who are still appealing for their position in polytechnic, good luck aite.
I wish you people luck. (:

Thanks to Idah, Hadah, Nana, Dian & Athirah for the encouraging words.
I'll never forget it.
It's now the end of our ITE journey.
2 years has passed, time flies.
Rest assured, i'll see you people at Graduation Ceremony on 12 May.

Till here then.
I'm off to sleep now.
I need to go to work tomorrow morning.
Signing off at 11.17pm.
Goodnight.

ANOTHER 19TH.

2010-03-31T22:47:00.000+08:00

Happy 19th Birthday to you Riswan! (:
At last, you've turned 19 uh?
You've only have one more year to enjoy teenage life.
Haha!
Aniway, stay happy always bestie! (:

OH NO.

2010-03-30T21:05:00.002+08:00

Results tomorrow.
Poly admission results a day later.
Oh my, oh my.
I'm totally scared.
I'll be happy if my GPA improves.
But, i'll be totally devastated if i get into Republic Poly in Sports & Leisure Management.
My first choice course.
I guess, i'll have to give it a miss.
I know, i'm letting go a good opportunity.
But, i have no choice.
I have to sacrifice. :(

Toodles earthlings.

NANA'S BIRTHDAY & GIRLFRIENDS OUTING.

2010-03-29T16:04:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

I'm back after not updating for few days.
Well, last week the secondary school girlfriends, Farah and I celebrated Nana's birthday at Hadah's crib.
Our plan was successful. Haha.
A bad day for me, as i was down with fever.
I didn't feel good actually, and almost cancel my plan to meet them.
But i changed my mind, as that was the only day for me to hang out with them.
So, eventually, i forced my way to CCK Inter and meet Farah.
I've to wait for her for about 15 mins.
As usual, she was late. -_-
The plan to surprise Nana was successful as she had no idea that Farah and me were supposed to be at Hadah's place too.
Haha.

Slacked at Hadah's crib first, then we were off for karaoke at Grandlink.
My first time being there, and it was great.
I had to sing as well, after being forced by Nana.
My voice was very hoarse.
Perfect to sing Male's part. -_-
Spent about 2 hours there and we went off to have our late lunch at Bugis.

Had chiken rice, after being forced again to eat by the others.
Nana was super damn frustrated as her fish porridge didn't turn out like a porridge.
It's actually fish with rice.
Right Nana?
She ended up eating my chicken rice as i didn't finish it.
Haha!

The girlfriends were being super sweet as usual to send me back home as i was sick, and of course to see whether there was a "drama" or not.
They spent the time watching the last episode of "The Pupil".
Kecoh-kecoh sesama sendiri eh.
I was like, "Eh korang, sorry eh kalau aku tertidur."
I really slept. -_-
By the time i woke up, my body was super hot and Nana gave me panadols.
But mum asked to go to the clinic.
Went there around 10 pm.
And yeah, i was down with high fever which has some kind of virus.
The doctor advised me to stay away from family and friends temporarily.
Sad case or what.
Now i'm recovering, except for the coughing part.
Sheesh! I hate it.
I need to get well soon.
There are some things i need to clear up with Farhan.
Yes, him. (:

Okayy people.
I'm off now.
Time now is 4.48pm.
Good day earthlings.

I GIVE UP.

2010-03-23T11:16:00.000+08:00

I wish i could kill myself right now.
I hate you people controlling me.
I've had enough of this.
I'm going 20, not a 2 year-old kid anymore.
I've been holding back my emotions everytime you decide for me about everything.
But now, i can't take it anymore.
I feel like crying and screaming my heart out.
It would make me feel 100 times better.
You just make your own decisions, without even knowing how i feel like.
Let me tell you people this, I MIGHT AS WELL NOT LIVE.
I feel like i'm living for other people, not for myself.
Now, i'm holding back my tears in front of you.
I'm destroying myself by doing this, yes i know.
I've been doing this for many many years.
There's always a limit to everything.
Don't ever compare me and your friends' kids.
Coz, i ain't like them.
I'm totally different from them.
You can't just assume that what she likes, is what i like too.
The bottom line is, I'M NOT HAPPY AT ALL, IF YOU ASK ME.
I GIVE UP!

SHOCKING.

2010-03-16T21:15:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

I'm still shocked over yesterday and today deaths.
In just 2 days, i've got to know about 3 deaths.
It's the first time i experience this, in my 19 years of life.
Yesterday was the death of my ex-classmate, Seri's grandma.
Followed by the death of an old neighbour's dad.
And today, the death of my old neighbour, who's only 31 years old after fighting with lung cancer for only 2 months.
It was really shocking when i got to know that she suffers from cancer, as she was looking healthy always to me.
A pity, i couldn't get to see her as i was at Seri's place to pay a visit and there was mourning prayers.
Only mum and the rest of the old neighbours were there to see her even before she close her eyes forever.
I wonder how her children will be from now onwards.
They're only 9 and 4 years old.
Too young to know anything, especially the youngest one.
How will they survive, without their mum around them?
I learnt something from this.
God can take lives, in just a blink of an eye.
Whether the person is healthy, or not.
It can happen anytime.

I've been thinking about it.
I want my loved ones to be healthy always.
Always be thankful to Allah.
For that, you will be put in a better place, insyallah.

Dear Allah, please protect my loved ones always.
Please protect the kids, now that their mother's gone to be with you.
Only to you, i can trust to take care of those kids.
Sesungguhnya, kau la Yang Maha Pangasih, dan Maha Penyayang.
Amin Ya Robbal Alamin.

THOSE TIMES..

2010-03-11T21:15:00.003+08:00

I wish, i could have you back in my life.
I WISH I COULD.
Somehow, you managed to leave a great impact in my life.
You wanna know the reason why?
Because you were my first love, not the others.
You didn't know that, coz i didn't have the chance to tell you that, when we met and held hands for the last time.
You were one of my motivation when i was down, and you were always there for me when i needed you, but not anymore.
I lost you.
I've never felt this before.
You were my last one, but my first love.
Amazing right?
Never did i expect that my life would change when i knew you.
But i didn't blame you for all the things happened.
And you didn't even have the idea that i think and miss you everyday.
Only my closest ones know what i am like now.
Yes, i pretended to smile when i met you last week.
Coz i didn't want you to have any negative thinking about it.
I didn't want you to think that i'm desperate to get you.
No, that's not my way at all.
I'd rather keep my feelings to myself.
That's what i've been doing, and only God knows me well.
By seeing you, it has already make me happy.
I'm thankful to Allah, or letting me to meet you last week.
I just missed those times when you were in my arms, and always there to comfort me.
You always gave in to me.
Thank you for that.
I'll never forget everything.
Coz you've once made me happy.

Bila cinta tak lagi untukku, bila hati tak lagi padaku..

GOODBYE.

2010-03-10T11:13:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Finally, exam are done.
Alhamdulillah, i can do the Public Relations paper.
My efforts in studying last minute were not wasted at all.
Haha.
The duration of paper was 2 hours and 30 minues actually.
But i managed to finish it within 1 hour and 15 mins.
Seeing classmates walking off, i too decided to walk off rather than spending the whole 2 hours and 30 minutes in the classroom.
It was damn hot.

Collected the class fund and cleared the locker before the exam started.
Went to meet Mr Izan and Morgan in the PE Room with Farah while waiting for classmate, Saleha.
At the same time, Mr Azman was there too.
Chatted with the teachers for a while, and they were off to to some things.
So left me, Farah and Morgan.
Chatted about school and work.
After that, Farah and me left the room to do our last revision.
It's sad while clearing the locker you know.
I'll remember how we used to go up and down from classroom to locker to take our books.
And whenever i'm at my locker, i'll surely look up at BIT Lab 4.
That's the room where "he" will always be.
Memories. ):

After the exam, means it's the end of school for us.
Sad case, really.
Classmates and friends, this will not be the end of us.
Rest assured, we shall organise some outings together okayy?
I wonder it feels like in days to come.
I'll miss going to school.
I've yet to decide what to do about the uniforms.
Zaidah Zainol still keeps it.
Member rindu skola.
Haha.
Now, i need to find a stable job.
That's it. No poly for me. ):
I need cash now.
Haiz.

Okayy readers.
Just a quick update for today.
Have a nice day earthlings.

FOR YOU.

2010-03-05T11:33:00.003+08:00

Everything went haywire yesterday.
I thought i could start something new, but it ended even when i could start doing it.
I've wasted your time yesterday. You know who you are if you're reading this.
I'm truly and terribly sorry about that.
I feel like i've been making people's life hard.
Yes, from childhood, till now.
But, i didn't want it to happen too.
Some people are just bound to control my life.
I don't know till when.
I feel like giving up.
However, i appreciate your thought of recommending me the job.
Like what i told you in the sms yesterday, i'll never forget what you've done for me.
I really appreciae it.
Although i felt scared yesterday, but your smile and jokes kept me calm.
You were still the same, just like the first time i knew you.
I was truly happy to meet you again, from the bottom of my heart.
Maybe it's not my luck to work together with you, although i wanted to.
Whatever it is, i'll always pray for your success in job, to be a successful person one day so that you can open the eyes of the people who do not understand at all.
I'm counting on you.
Seeing you being successful will make me smile, even though if i couldn't be successful like you.
I ain't jealous at all, coz that is not me at all.
So to you, rest assured my prayers are always with you.
May you succeed, insyallah.

This is a post for someone who's been very nice to me since the first time i met him till now. I do hope you'll be reading this, coz i want you to know how i feel.
There's no other way i could express these feelings and thoughts.
I can only do it through my blog.

Goodbye readers.

THIRD.

2010-03-03T21:02:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

I'm currently waiting for the YouTube page to load.
And to kill time, i'm blogging at the same time.
The loading is slow. -_-.
I wanna watch "Tasbih Cinta". It's an Indonesian drama.
I'm watching it, coz there's Bayu in it. (:

Nothing much for today.
Woke up at 9am, had to take supplement (coz my mum was next to me, that's why).
Then watched "Santau" in YouTube.
The movie was okayy laa.
It's the same common things happen in Malay community.
Voodoo. Jealousy. Ghost. Possession.
I just watched the movie, to kill time.

I need a job now.
I mean apart from my weekend job.
[insertnamehere] brought me in for his job.
I was surprised to receive his msg yesterday. I'm happy though. (:
And if this is a good job opportunity for me, i might be taking it.
But have to see first, whether it's convincing enough or not.
If i accept the job, i'll take it as a sideline.
Coz i was planning to take up job in SMRT, as they offer good pay.
I don't mind slogging hard for money.
I need to top up my bank account, and pay my uncleared bills and debts.
But the problem is the meeting time to meet [insertnamehere] tomorrow.
Hopefully, mum will give me the permission to go.
To mum & dad, you can't possibly ask me not to work after 6pm right?
Some jobs do have long hours.
You can't just let me stay at home.
I wanna be independent like other people do.
Just let me be please?
I'm begging you.
Coz i really want to lead life like a normal grown-up girl.
I don't wanna be burden to both of you anymore.
Please, i beg you.

Okayy readers.
I wanna get back to YouTube.
Goodnight.
Signing off at 10.30pm.

IT'S MARCH ALREADY?

2010-03-02T21:05:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Time flies, and it's already 2 March 2010.
I didn't go to school today.
Was feeling damn tired, i still haven't recover from flu.
It's been 4 days down with flu.
Haiz.

Stayed at home the whole day.
I felt sleepy, even in the day.
Watched DVD, Alvin and The Chipmunks 2.
Borrowed it from cousin.
I was smiling, while watching the movie.
It's because of THEODORE!
Super cute i tell you!
If only i can own a talking and singing chipmunk..
Aww.
Hahaha.

Since i was alone in the day as mum went out to Geylang, i've to keep my eyes wide open despite being sleepy in front of my lappy.
Once mum came back, i jumped onto my bed and had my afternoon nap for 2 hours.
And yeah, it rained! Yeay!
That made my nap more worth it.
Hahaha.

Woke up at 5pm like a zombie.
Lifeless face.
That was remarked by mum.
I ain't surprised.
I wonder what time i'm gonna sleep tonight, since i've had my nap in the noon.
Best thing is, without any company.
Yeah. I don't like that feeling.
*Sighs*

Finally, all projects and presentations are done.
I can now concentrate on Public Relations exam, which is on 9 March.
It's next Tuesday. -_-
I was satisfied with PR presentation yesterday.
Alhamdulillah, my teammates and me did better this time round, compared to the previous one.
Even the teacher said that.
It's finally gotten off from my chest.
Now, it's theory time.
Sheesh.

Alright readers.
That will be the updates for today.
Signing off now.
Time checked: 9.55pm.

26, MAULUD NABI.

2010-02-26T23:14:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Today's already the 26th day of February.
And today marks Maulud Nabi too.
First thing i woke up in the morning just now, i hope that my PR presentation will run smoothly without any problems, since today is a good day and yeah, it's the number 26.
My favourite number. (:
But ended up, my group did not present today, since Aishah didn't come to school.
She has diarrhoea.
Other group presented, and my teammates and me realised that there are some things whch needs to be amended.
Thank God we didn't present.
I don't want this presentation to be bad like the previous one.
I thank Allah for giving us a chance.

Slacked in school till 2.45pm just now, and off to Eunos till 5.30pm.
I was dead beat when i reached home.
Believe it or not, i stood up all the from Eunos to Choa Chu Kang.
No sits at all. Be it in train and bus.
Sheesh.
Had dinner when i came back, and showered.
Oh btw, Hadah texted me when i was in the train on the way back home, asking me to watch this Hindi movie called "3 Idiots".
I've watched part of it.
The other part shall be continued tomorrow, as my eyes are getting heavier already.
So, i'll just post a quick update yeah.
3 Idoits. HILARIOUS MUCH!
Hadah was right. It's a MUST WATCH MOVIE!
And i saw "someone's" name in the movie.
Go watch the movie, and you will know who's name in there.
It really reminds me of him.
It's exactly his name.
I'm surprised.

Working tomorrow.
Needs to go to Eunos on Sunday morning, and back to work again.
Exhausting. Plus the hot weather.
I'll not get to follow mum to Maulud Nabi held at Expo on Sunday, since i'm working.
I wanna go there badly.
I went there last year with mum, and it really taught me some lessons.
It's an event not to be missed, for me.
Nvermind, there's always a next time.
Insyallah.

Alright readers.
I'm super duper tired now.
I wanna go to bed.
Signing off, goodnight.

23.

2010-02-23T22:09:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Somehow, the number 23 haunts me.
I only love the number 11.
I won't elaborate here.
Let be known by myself only.

School started at 1pm just now, starting off with PR.
Had AOFA after that, did Microsoft Frontpage project.
It's almost finishing.
*smiles*
Spent a lot of time finding for the background.
Got it at last.
Need to save some photos.
Which is not done yet till now.
*sighs*
I wanna get my project done perfectly this time round.
And ouh, i passed my Microsoft Excel CA.
Alhamdulillah, although it's a borderline pass.

Currently chatting with Mali Fitness and Syamimi.
Mali, let's gather the 2007 FT usual cliques soon yeah.
I miss hanging out like last time.
Haha.
And Syamimi, i didn't know that she's in the same school as me.
I was told by bro, that she's in the same school as us, taking Office Skills.
Great. She's dad's good friend's daughter.
But too bad, i'm graduating.
Sadly, 14 days left. :(
Can't spend much time chatting with Syamimi.

School's gonna end soon, and i have to say that i hate to leave.
Too many memories.
All the good and bad ones.
The friends, the schoolmates, the special someone that i had last year.
It will never be forgotten.
It has been a great journey for me in ITE.
I wil definitely miss all that.

I'm signing off now.
I need some rest.
Goodnight.

TIRED.

2010-02-21T21:56:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Aku ni sebenarnya penat.
I feel damn lethargic and tired.
With school everyday, projects to be done, working on weekends, to and fro to Eunos every Sunday and back to work again.
That's my routine everyday.
However busy i am, my mind will still not be ease.

I've been skipping supplements for the past few weeks.
*smiles*
And mum has been saying that my face looks tired everyday, apart from Shahidin and Ayub who has been saying that i've got that sad face.
It's not that i don't appreciate your thought mum, but it just won't work for me.
I like it more in this way.
I don't care about it anymore.
Yes, i admit i'm not a strong person.
I've realised that since the last time.
However hard people try to make me smile, it's just for a while.
And it will be back to square one.
Nothing will make me smile like last time again.

However, i like working on Sundays in the afternoon session.
Little kids aged 5-12 years old will come and have their soccer training.
So cute.
I have my little eyecandy.
7 years old i guess.
I got to know his name. FARHAN.
Surprising and shocking.
I got to know his name when he was trying to kick and shoot a ball.
And his mates we cheering "FARHAN! FARHAN! FARHAN!"
Upon hearing his name, Farah and me looked at each other, giving a surprised look.
So coincidentially.
I looked down, and kept quiet for a moment.
Memories. I miss him.
But, hearing their voices and looking at them makes my afternoon good.
Do continue playing there okayy kids.

Time now is 10.36pm.
I'm off now.
Goodnight.

END SO SOON?

2010-02-18T09:31:00.002+08:00

MORNING EARTHLINGS.

Time checked: 9.34am
Woke up at 9, and i'm alone at home.
Everybody's out.
Luckily school starts at 1pm today.
I really need rest, after so many days of sleepless nights and if could sleep, i'll have nightmares.

Burnt the midnight oil yesterday to do the Special Events projects.
It ain't easy i tell you.
Lots of research needs to be done.
Mine and Farah's part are finishing bsoon.
Only need some discussions to be done later in school.
Presentation for this project is next week, plus need to study for the mock test which is on Friday.
I really need to pass the mock test.
Coz if i don't, i'll not be able to sit for the exam which is on 9 March.
So many heavy topics in the book.
*sighs*
I'll have to endure with this.
It's gonna end soon.

9 March marks the last day of school.
And everyone will go to their separate ways and paths.
Time really flies isn't it?
It's so fast that i'm gonna complete my Higher Nitec education.
When we were laughing with our classmates, spending time together in activities all, it has finally come to an end.
I'm gonna admit this, i'll miss every moment in school.
Haiz.

Okayy, i wouldn't want to update about this separation thingy first.
SEPARATION DO HURTS.
Will be back updating soon.
Have a good day earthlings.

UNEXPECTED.

2010-02-15T23:29:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Another post for today.
Spent the whole day doing PR project with the usuals at Starbucks @ Raffles City.
Went out from house at 8.15 am.
Planning was to drop by at 711 to meet schoolmate, Naim for awhile since he works there.
But didn't see him. Maybe he went back earlier.
There was a reason why i went out from home earlier.
I don't wanna elaborate.
It really spoils my mood.
Heartpain.
*sighs*
Bought Famous Amos at 711 for breakfast.
Yes, that's what i had for breakfast.
Waited for that Farahneez for 1 hour.
1 HOUR OKAYY!
I wander at Yew Tee, like some orang tak betol sia.
Sheesh!

Train-ed down to City Hall to meet the others.
Did some got our duties to be done, did some discussions and went back at 12pm.
Didn't went back home straight.
Went to Farah's place to do PR research.
The project has to be re-done back, after reading the question really properly.
Farah and me were shouting and singing our hearts out.
Damn stressful, when everything has to be re-done.
Haiz.

Went back home around 5.30pm.
My mood started to change when i think of home.
I cooped myself up in my room for the rest of the day.
I was being treated like a total stranger by mum.
Mum, you'll never know how i feel.
Just because of that poly courses i chose, everything turned out like this?
Do you think i'm happy in this situation, not talking to you?
Do you think i enjoy?
No, i don't.
I feel like you're blaming me as if i've committed a grave mistake.
You didn't know how restless i was doing everything,
how much things running in my mind,
encountered sleepless nights thinking of this.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW AT ALL.
I might go nuts one day.
Haiz.
Even if i were to tell you, i wouldn't have the chance to fend for myself.
Coz i'm always in the wrong, in your eyes.
Everything i do doesn't seem right to you.
Although i sacrificed my feelings and wanting to make it up to you, you just ignored it.
You gave me the cold shoulders.
And Dad, i was suprised by what you said the other day.
TOTALLY SURPRISED.
Am i like a television, and you like the remote control?
Following each and everything you pressed on the remote.
I too have my own life.
I want to do something i like, not following people's feelings.
Is it hard for me?
And yeah, i heard you told brother about my "future".
I feel like giving up.
I might as well don't exist in the world right?
It's not that i don't appreciate that God has created me, but i'm totally tired.
Wait till i close my eyes forever, this blog will be the witness of how i've always feel.

Friends. They have been giving me endless encouragement.
I really appreciate it a lot.
I'm lucky to have you people in my life.
Thanks Rizal Fitness, for the encouragement and advice that you gave me.
But honestly, i do feel worried about what you said about my condition just now.
I didn't expect that it would turn out like that laa.
But, i can't do anything about it.
Thanks Nowreen, Farahliyana and Kat Kartini for the facebook comments.
I'm left speecless with your comments.
Not forgetting my best peeps, Idah, Hadah, Nana and Farahneez.
Thank you so much people.
I wonder how my life would be if you people didn't exist in my life.

Time now is 11.55pm.
I'm off now.

19TH.

2010-02-15T23:23:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Another friend of mine's birthday today.
I just wanna wish, KHAIRUDDIN BIN RAHMAT, a HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!
He just turned 19 today.
Baru 19 eh.
Hehehe.
May Allah bless you with good health, wealth and love okayy.
Stay happy always buddy! (:

NOT FOR ME.

2010-02-14T11:53:00.002+08:00

I'm living for others, not for myself.
I live to satisy the needs and dreams of others.
I live to follow people instructions.
I live to listen to outsiders comments about my education and career.
I'm living in fear and agony.
I can't have any options for myself.
I'm stressed, and depressed enough.
How i wish i could perish fast.
Totally tired, i am.
Grandma, i miss you.
God, take me to her fast please?
I've longed to be with her.
Goodbye.

2ND ONE.

2010-02-12T22:46:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

It's the 2nd post for the day.
I'm totally not in the mood.
I'm just pissed off over under-aged kiddos like those in primary school or just going to sec 1, especially girls bragging about their boyfriend in facebook or whatsoever.
If you don't find fault with any of my family member, i won't find fault with you.
But if i got to know that you do, you better run when i see you okayy.
I've been browsing through bro's facebook few days back, and there's this girl who used swearing words against bro.
Bro commented her status nicely, and she started to use swearing words.
Not only her, even her friend joined in too.
That really made my blood boil.
I don't care even if i know your boyfriend.
Kau siapa eh nak panggil orang "sial" and maki orang sesuka hati kau?
Nama kat facebook nak step cina, padahal muka takda cina langsung.
Girl, consider yourself lucky that i'm not in your friends' list in facebook.
If i'm it, then that's too bad.
Pergi habiskan kau punya Sec 4 dulu, baru boleh bebual dengan orang eh.
Ini baru jer Sec 1, mulut dah mcm siak.
Haiz.
Pompuan2..
If you wanna be in relationship, having scandals or whatsoever, that's your business.
I don't even wish to know about it, coz i've got nothing to do with it.
But if you mess around with my brother, then you are messing with me too.
Get that straight in your head, understood?
Haiz, primary and secondary school girls nowadays..
Perangai nak step mcm minahrep.
OMG.
Jadi budak perempuan biasa kan dah bagus.
Lagik manis.
Haiz.

I've had enough of people like this laa.
If i don't bother you, you don't bother me okayy?
Haiz.
Okayy readers.
I'm sick and tired of being angry nowadays.
I'm gonna have my rest now.
Goodnight.

LOSING HOPE.

2010-02-12T18:49:00.002+08:00

Thanks to you, Mum and Dad, that i've lost my confidence of going to Poly.
After talking to you about me going to Poly to get myself a Diploma, you gave the green light at first.
I was VERY HAPPY.
Of course you were reluctant i first. I know.
Why? It's because i'm using your CPF money to pay for the fees, Dad.
But you said, "If you really want to study, then okayy."
But after just now, you've shattered all my hopes and confidence into pieces.
JUST BECAUSE i chose Sports and Sonic Arts.
I vividly remember this, "Kalau orang dengar kau ambil courses macam ini semua, orang ketawakan kau ah."
Do you know that it really broke my heart when you said that?
If that courses were all nonsense, why in the hell would government approve all that courses to be accepted in polytechnics?
MOE people have brains, Mum and Dad.
They know what youth likes.
If Sonic Arts is nonsense, Hadah wouldn't have chosen that course.
In fact, she's doing well in that course now.
I got all the info from her, about the course.
I liked it, that's why i chose it.
For your info, Mum and Dad, i don't follow people.
I'm doing what i like and what i'm interested in.
You know that i'm very interested in sports, yet you just ignore it.
I can close one eye if you objected me taking Fitness Training in ITE.
I went for Office and Business Administration, for your sake and for me to get a cert.
I did well in Office, Alhamdulillah.
Now, i'm finishing my Business Administration course soon.
I'll strive hard to excel in my final semester.

But thanks to my best friends Idah, Nana, Hadah and Farah for supporting me all the way and for the never ending hope in me.
Thanks to Hyrulnizam Jumaat, for giving me the support to take sport courses.
Although i'm not close to him, i was surprised when he said this in MSN, "Go Go Go! You have my support!"
Thank you so much Ahlau.
Even someone whom you are not close with, can give you support.
It's all thanks to Muhammad Farhan Bin Kamarudin, for giving me advice to go to Poly last time.
Although you are not with me now, i still appreciate your advice, Farhan.
I still remember everything, till now.
I dare to say all this, because i appreciate him.
And thanks to all my classmates and teachers, for giving me the support to go Poly.
Thank you to all of you.
I won't forget all of you.

DISAPPOINTED.

2010-02-09T17:30:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Had Microsoft Excel CA just now.
I did BADLY.
I was stuck with the IF function.
And everything went haywire.
I was the LAST person to leave the room.
Yes, the last one, for the first ever time.
Alex saved my work in his thumbdrive.
When he tried to open my work again to double check, i was totally scared laa.
Scared that he might see all the figures in the spreadsheet.
Haha!
But luckily, he didn't see it laa.
Haha.
I'll just keep my fingers crossed for this test.
I didn't have any confidence for this CA in the first place anyway.
But, who doesn't want to pass?
Just a borderline pass for me, and i'll be thankful.
Insyallah.

Had lunch in school with Farah, Saleha, Ash and V after that, since the usual cliques went back already.
Went back around 2.30pm, as Saleha, V and Ash wants to complete their PR project.
Met Ayub and Shahidin at the bustop.
Both of them kept saying this since last week, "Asal muka kau sedih seh?"
And i was like, "Huh? Mana ada sedih?"
I don't know what's wrong brothers.

Settled bills after that and headed home.
I've yet to think whether i should apply for Poly or not.
Friday's the last day to apply.
I'm definitely attracted to Sports and Leisure Management course.
But it's at RP. Nevermind laa.
Yes, i've changed my mind to got to Poly, since i will need that cert in future.
I still remember "his" advice, when i was still with him last year in July, about going to Poly.
He gave me a long sms about it, and asked me to go to Poly.
At that point of time, my answer was a NO.
But now, i remembered everything he said and made up my mind to go Poly.
It's for my own good.
I need a good income to support my family.
And yeah, no more Business studies for me.
I'm tired of Business studies.
Enough for me, since i've been taking that since Nitec.
I told mum and dad about Poly, but they didn't give any reaction about it.
All they say is, "Poly requires high fees."
I'm sad that you didn't gave me any encouragement at all.
:(

Alright readers.
This is all for today.
I've got to make decision soon, before it's too late.
Toodles earthlings.

SUNDAE.

2010-02-07T22:33:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Time checked: 10.36pm
As usual, blogging at night.
At least, i get some peace.
ONLY AT CERTAIN TIMES.
Can someone tell me what is the real meaning of peace?
*sighs*

Currently facebook-ing and chatting with schoolmate, Kat Kartini in facebook.
Although she's a new friend made, it seems like we can share lots of stories.
We always like each other status in facebook.
Especially bila part kena-kena kan orang.
Hahaha.

Work today's okayy.
Like suddenly, there were many people who wanted to play at that field today.
Tu laa. Bila field tuu takda orang, korang tanak datang main.
Now dah banyak orang, korang semua sibuk-sibuk.
Haiyaa.
Manusia, manusia.
Hahaha.

This thing keeps running in my mind for the past few weeks.
What do parents want from their child actually?
I know, they want their child to be a successful person one day.
But AT LEAST, ask their child first what they want.
Ask them whether they are happy with the decision they've made.
If it's a good thing, then i parents shouldn't cut in their way.
They are just on their way to success.
Do not stop them, if you want to see them happy.
But if parents stop their child from doing something good, then that is a real problem.
I'm sorry if i sound harsh, but this is what i feel.
Jangan halang mereka untuk kepentingan diri sendiri.
I know, there's a time that a child has to pay back what their parents had done for them when they were small, but there's always 1001 positive ways to pay them back.
To Farahleez, if you're reading this, prove to your mum that she's wrong.
Just like what you said in facebook.
She's not in the wrong actually, it's just that she don't understand the education standard now.
Duit sentiasa boleh dicari, walaupun susah kan?
The important thing is, education.
Yes it is.
I admit, i regret that i can't make it to Poly.
But what i aim now is to graduate successfully in Higher Nitec in Business Administration.
What i want is, my brother to get into Poly, insyallah.
I don't mind at all that he's smarter than me.
At least that's something to be proud of in the family.
Farahleez, make the right decision okayy? (:

Okayy people.
Aku kasi advise kat orang, tapi diri sendiri tak betul sangat.
Hahaha.
I wouldn't mind giving advises though. (:
That's all for today.
Goodnight.

FRIDAY IS HERE AGAIN.

2010-02-05T23:09:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Time flies, Friday is here again.
Tomorrow, Saturday.
Work takes turn.
Sunday, work again. And i've to go to some place to do something.
It will be damn tiring.
I've got no choice, but to endure with it.

Currently facebook-ing as usual, and chatting with Farahliyana.
She found my blog through Ayeesyaa's, and there the conversation started till now.
Hahaha.
I just got to know from her that the last day of school is on 9 March.
OMG. That's really fast.
As the days goes by, i gotta admit that i'm starting to miss school.
I'll miss my usual cliques, friends, the usual schoolmates i've seen in school and of course, "you".
Okayy, i don't wanna elaborate on this further.
Let's wait till the last day of school.
*sighs*

I've made up my mind that i'll not be continuing studies at poly, even if i can get through.
It's time for me to help my parents as in financial wise.
And like Zaidah Zainol said, shopping time!
Hahaha.
I'll take up courses, something which i like which is sports.
If i could find one, insyallah.
I'll not say that i'm not interested 100% in studying after ITE.
I am still interested, but due to some circumstances, i can't continue it.
Guess i've to work full-time already.

Okayy people.
Done blogging for today.
The time now is already 11.53 pm.
Toodles earthlings.

AGAIN, 20 SEN!

2010-02-03T22:55:00.000+08:00

I'm here to wish the girl wearing black outfit in the pic, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY!
ZAIDAH! Amongst us, you're the oldest eh.
I mean as in months laa.
Hahaha.
I was the first one to wish you right?
Kan Idah kan?
Hehe!
See, i still remember your birthday although we don't have meet-ups often like how we used to.
Aniway, may Allah bless you always with health, wealth and love aite.
Senyum-senyum selalu! (:

INJURED.

2010-02-02T23:22:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Okayy, in case all of you don't know what the pic on the left is about and if it's not so clear, i'll tell you.
My right wrist is swollen. Plus! Fever.
Went to clinic, and i got 1 day MC.
Okayy, half of it, i'm happy coz i finally got to rest.
But half of it, i'm bored coz i can't meet my friends.
I don't think i should sigh on this.
Kalau aku kena high fever pun cantik.

So, that means presentation for PR is postponed to Thursday.
And, i can't take the mock test for AOFA tomorrow since i'm not in school.
I gotta take it some other day.
Leceh laa.
AOFA common test in on 9 February.
Now then i can sigh.
I need to spray my hair all black, since the invigilator is my "best friend".
Wanna know who? ALEX, THE DM!
Oh goshhh.
Good luck to myself laa eh.

Okayy people.
Today's post will be a short one.
I'm off to sleep now since i just ate my drowsy medicine.
Goodnight.

LET IT ALL OUT.

2010-01-31T23:31:00.003+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

I'm blogging now, coz i wanna let out what i feel inside.
I can't let it out in facebook, since some people's like tracking down my statuses.
I hate this feeling. I'm being controlled in everything.
Even now, i couldn't post it in facebook.
I'm scared that it might fell to my parents ears.
I'm lucky to have a blog.
*sighs*
Bro, what you've said just now really hurts me alot.
You don't realise it, don't you?
I've been giving in to you all these while.
I put aside all my wants, just to let you to have what you want first.
Yes, i've been doing that since small.
I did that till i know i couldn't get all my wants.
But nevermind, as long you're happy, i'm okayy.
But what you said just now, really leave a great cut in my heart.
Same goes to you mum.
I loved you, but you don't seem to have any confidence at me at all.
I seriously hated the way you compared me and my friends.
Yes, they're far way better and smarter than me.
I'm not jealous over them at all, coz that is God's gift for them.
In fact, i'm happy to call them my friends.
But me? I too want to lead a better life, but you didn't give me a chance.
How am i suppose to continue living? Tell me.
Can i scream?
Arrgghh!

Goodnight readers.

WORK HARD, PLAY HARD.

2010-01-30T21:57:00.002+08:00

HEY EARTHLINGS.

Work for today was okayy.
Did PR project at work with Farah, since our presentation will be either on next Wednesday or Thursday.
Made some changes to it, since we want the presentation to go smoothly, without making any mistakes.
One mistake, that's it. Gotta struggle to answer teacher's questions.
I swear, I hate totally hate that part the most.
Seeing the other classmates who did their presentation and the way teacher asked them questions really gave my groupmates and me the goosebumps.
Oh God, I hope everything runs well. Insyallah.

Shafeeq bro came to our site just now, since he got the day off, permitted by our manager.
Chatted, and we waited for the players to finish their game which was around 6pm.
Then came 2 men. They played, and their ball went into the school compound.
We were not suppose to let them in, as stated in the rules.
I goota say these foreigners are really smart.
One of them went back home, which was nearby to the field, and took a long pole just to take their ball.
Shafeeq bro helped them. There were funny moments.
Hahaha.

After taking their ball, Farah suggested that we play soccer with them since there was 15 minutes left.
So, the 5 of us played soccer.
It was damn fun!
Farah, Shafeeq and me played barefooted as we didn't find it comfortable playing with slippers.
Hahaha.
We sweated a lot. I got to burn my fats.
Haha.
If i can do this for every weekend, i'll lose a lot of weight.
Plus there's S&W on every Monday.
3 days of sports. I like!
Hahaha.
Maybe i can improve on my soccer skills, with the help of the players.
Hahaha.
Shafeeq and Farah suggested to bring jersey and boots since they wanna play again tomorrow.
See how first. But i would love to. Haha.
I need to search for 3 quarter shorts.
I can't possibly run around in front of men with shorts right?
Haha.

Okayy people. I'm feeling super tired actually.
I'm done with blogging. Now i need to check my facebook.
Goodnight earthlings.

NO MORE 20 SEN!

2010-01-23T20:46:00.003+08:00

I would like to wish this clique of mine on the left, Siti Hidayu, a HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY!
Ayu dah tak main 20 sen. Sekarang dah main 2 dollars.
Pricing dah up sikit.
Haha!
Anyway, may you have a blast on your birthday aite.
May Allah bless you always yeah. (: